I wish I could explain this better. I am always in conflict about connection and being alone. There has never been anyway to resolve it. I just rock back and forth and rest when comfort comes. I have reached a place where everything might change. What I need has changed and therefore, naturally, what I want is sympathetically evolving. I think I need more space in my work, to reflect this. Will I have enough time to finish larger works? Why am I even thinking like that? I'm not that old. I feel good.
Perhaps selling my work has influenced my output. I have always made small pieces as studies for larger ones. Some how they have taken over as pieces in themselves. I still have a lot of big cloth here. And I got tangled up in something else this past year. I'm rambling because I am very confused at the moment. A good part of it is Spring Fever. The other part is self reflection, maybe because in organizing all my notes and symbols and techniques for Feel Free I have found myself at a crossroads.
A simple method for the dyeing. The dyeing just to use stuff up, color thread, just to go in some simple way. While my mind wanders off like it does sometimes.
Sometimes consistency teaches us a lot. This is a kind of bastardized solar method I think.
The old coffee pot. Put stuff in. Cover with water. In this case rain water. April brings a lot of water.
Heat it. Simmer a bit. 1/2 hour.
Transfer to a jar. Add a bit of alum. 1/4 tsp.
Add a bit of cloth, a bit of thread. Same cloth, same thread. Testing silk this time.
Leave it near the sunny studio window.
This batch, 48 hours or so.
I never really did the alum thing in any big way. I'm doing it because I have some. Just to see. Maybe I will compare it with what I have done before. No mordant, soymilk mordant. I don't know. I don't think it is that important to me. The science or the allegiance. I am a casual dyer. Just the way the color appears is joy enough. Probably, for me, the fastness of color is important because my embroideries depend on it. Although it might be interesting to look at it after all the color has faded or disappeared. Anyway, I might just stitch up a sampler to use as a looking cloth, to watch if the color stays or not. That might be a nice kind of living cloth. The turmeric and black beans usually fade a bit, but this is my first test with alum. Appearing and Disappearing is Magic to me, so all is well I guess.
Using what I have is really the most consistent thing about my process. Not necessarily trend. What I have here depends on many things, often gifts from others in addition to the rescued cloth and thread. And then there is curiosity, which forms seemingly out of thin air, but no. It's thought. Thought caught. Used.
I'm still wishing, but for nothing specific. Probably because there was not much sleep last night.
I lay awake thinking about how life goes for different folks.