the march issue of art quilting studio arrived at my door yesterday. i wrote a bit about my quilt weaving. and squares. and although i feel it is a good article, i am personally dissatisfied about the timing, the photos, the context....many little things. ...it is obvious to me that this type of publishing thing is not really connected to my goals anymore , at least in its current format. but that's ok. the fact that this is the last issue of the magazine itself, coincides perfectly with my need for change.
i marked a page from the wild braid by stanley kunitz a while ago. although he speaks of poetry, i was sympathizing with his words. which could be about any kind of making. so often i think about how hard it is to create in this world. and i join others in making lists of things that prevent me from doing what i really want. but today i am thinking differently. maybe it is more important to change my viewpoint. i am thinking about blame. i am thinking about the difficulty of overcoming ones own convention. a box we fit ourselves into with not even seeing it. because it so close. but that is our own fault. just thinking about that. so today a square might be a box you squeeze yourself into. or not.
i was complaining about not having a design wall. i moved all the furniture around (even planning to give some away...how much furniture do two people need anyway?) and claimed the only full wall in the house. just for a change. a ceremony for change.
