81 - Carrying
83 - Home Diaries

82 - Rocking

On this day

 January 6th 2014

Rocking back and forth in January

Studio in early JanuaryWe have gone from deep freeze to a hint of Spring this morning. Temperatures warmed up a good 20 degrees overnight.  It is raining and all the snow disappeared while I was sleeping.  I spent some time sitting on the studio floor this morning.  Just enjoying the warm dampness  and emptiness.  Sensing its resting.  The musty smell of the unused stove. I have been walking in and out, back and forth,  all morning.  Like moving through seasons in my mind.

The evening's point of view

Yesterday was a bit upside down. I felt uneasy.  Trapped by winter.  Mist and then cold temperatures kept me from being outside.  Slick surfaces make me nervous after last year's fall on the ice.  In many ways I sense myself becoming my mother.  But in so many more ways, not.  I sat with the cloth I call HOME  for many hours.  Stitching but frustrated with not being able to spread out.  And then an email from Wendy.  A little story of beautiful children, a little back and forth.  Talked my way right through the knot I was tied up in simply by saying.   The thread relaxed.  Was it her?  Was it me?  I think it was the back and forth. I thought.  Yes.  The leaning in,  the stepping back.   This was quite important to consider.  This rocking. Especially today.

The rocking in and out

This cloth is a Spirit Cloth.  Not about anything else.  Not design. Not fame. Not exhibitions, publicity.  Not art. Not money.  Not even worrying I reminded myself this morning.  This cloth is more.  The basket  is forming  no matter how I look at it.   I lean in to stitch.  Lean back and look.  I sit under it, on it. I might see it from across the room.  It will hold me.  This is what I am sure of.  And so it will be ok.  A vessel born because we care.  A cloth that will contain the back and forth. The truth in that.  The spirit of how it really goes when you care. These things shape themselves.  I can see it with my eyes closed.  

Wings spread for a momentAnd so, as season predicts, as dreams command, I will finish a bit slower than planned.  And I will do it here, on the blog,  in detail.  Until the day it changes hands.  I stepped back this morning, to see it from far away, because it was warm enough to hang it on a wall in another room.  To sit and catch a look.  But I am leaning close in now.  Temperatures will drop 40 degrees today.  I will keep the big picture in the back of my mind and just go.